social anxiety

Social anxiety is often misinterpreted as being shy, especially in young children, but, simply put, it is a fear of social situations. The anxiety can cause someone to feel uneasy, have panic attacks or avoid social situations completely.

I have had social anxiety for most of my life, well, as long as I can remember, but it was only diagnosed a few years ago. Before that point I was simply being accused of being shy, and yes to some extent I was shy, but I also had social anxiety. No one really thought of this as an explanation at the time though, but after evaluation, it is apparent that it was social anxiety.

Social situations used to make me feel nervous and I'd often panic, but because I didn't want to draw attention to myself, I'd have to stay in the situation because I didn't want anyone to question me as I walked out of it. I perfected the art of completely hiding a panic attack, something which has proved to be very useful recently. Some of my worst triggers were being with people I don't know, talking in front of people and being late for something. Other things triggered my anxiety too, but those were the three worst.

Thankfully my social anxiety isn't too bad anymore, but that's only because I learned how to cope during situations in which I felt anxious, and I learned what I needed to do to recover.

During times when my anxiety was bad, and it caused a panic attack, I learned that breathing deeply and slowly helped me a lot. It sounds simple but it works very well. The best thing to do is to focus on an object in front of you and just stare at it when you're breathing deeply. It can look quite odd to people who notice you doing it, but in time you learn how to be more subtle with it, and now I can do it without anyone noticing. It just takes practice. If at all possible though, avoid the situation that sets off your anxiety and that will make everything easier, but that doesn't mean that you should hide away from the world. Little challenges every now and then will help you a lot.

I have a friend who has anxiety, but she has only had it for about two years, so she doesn't know how to deal with it a lot of the time. Having her suffering with anxiety too has actually helped me to recover from my anxiety. She asks me to do a lot of things for her, like speaking to strangers or paying for something in a shop, all situations that make me feel anxious, but when I am forced to do it for her, I learn how to push my anxiety to one side and just complete the task.

If I know in advance that I am going to be in a situation that will make me feel anxious, I mentally prepare myself. I imagine what will happen and run through many possible scenarios in my mind of what may happen and how I will deal with it. This is another thing that becomes easier with practice. I can now do this while still having a perfectly normal conversation with someone. In the past I would have to take an hour to myself to sit in silence, but now I can successfully do it in a way that is completely undetectable to anyone.


With practice, anxiety becomes very easy to deal with. It just takes time. I still have a long way to go until I could say that I have recovered from my anxiety, but I am doing all the right things to help me to get there.