comfort

Sometimes I get pushed out of my comfort zone, but not for a good reason. Not for a reason that would make me grow as a person, or help me to develop new skills. No. Sometimes I get pushed out of my comfort zone because people try to manipulate me for their own personal gain. The bad thing is that they don't realise that what they're doing will backfire on someone, usually me. 

Sometimes people can be requesting information from me, or asking me to do something that I'd rather not do. And of course, I will help people out as much as I can, but when it becomes uncomfortable for me I tend to retreat. 

This retreat can be physical, verbal or emotional. With a physical retreat, I will distance myself from everything and try to avoid getting involved. A verbal retreat involves me reducing how much I speak, not to get attention, but because sometimes I find it easier to learn from just listening to people. Verbal retreats can vary from reducing how much I speak by just a little bit, to not speaking at all for certain periods of time. And finally, emotional retreats are probably the scariest for me. I become numb and don't feel emotions either towards others or myself. This is when things can get dangerous for me. If I don't feel any emotions towards myself, then I can do bad things. 

This is why I fear leaving my comfort zone sometimes, because I just don't know what sort of retreat will occur until it's too late.