Recovery hasn't been an easy choice, and I do often regret starting it. But there's something within me that keeps me going. It's my internal drive to succeed. Once I start something, I tend to not want to give up because I feel that people would see me as a failure.
Many of you might be reading this and thinking that you'd love to be 'strong' enough to be able to recover, or that you don't understand why anyone would want to recover. So I'm going to try to explain some of the good comes out of it.
Firstly, strength isn't that important in recovery. It's mostly to do with willpower and your willingness to give new things a try. You're stuck in bad ways, you can't get out if your frame of mind and we both know it's slowly destroying you. Why would you want to stay like that? Is it because it's easier not to change? Or are you scared of the unknown? I know that for myself, it was a mixture of both of those. I was too tired and afraid to change the way I was thinking, what I was doing and how I was living. I didn't choose to recover because I was 'strong', I chose to recover because I wanted to live a better life.
Wouldn't you like to live a better life, away from the pain that you know now? Now tell me this- how do you get better if all you're doing is staying in the same frame of mind and behaving the same way that destroys you day after day? You won't. You need to step away from what hurts you and start taking care of yourself.
You matter.
You are so important. People care about you, they look up to you and they need you in their lives. It may not feel like they do but just open your eyes for long enough and you will see that you are loved for who you are.
I'm not saying change your life instantly, I'm just suggesting that you take that first step towards a better life. You'll be surprised how many people will help you on your journey.
Don't give up, give recovery a chance.
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