numbness

Does part of your body ever go numb? Maybe your foot if you sit on it for long enough. When you finally get up and start to walk on it, it feels weird, uncomfortable, sometimes painful. 

Now imagine that in your mind. You can't feel a thing, yet when you try to feel, all you can feel is pain. 

Numbness is scary because it's impossible to know how long it'll last for, and you don't know what it can cause you to do.

Of course, being able to feel something defeats the concept of numbness, but there are different stages of numbness. You go from feeling absolutely nothing to being prone to feeling pain no matter what. Then the tears come. You cry but you just don't know why. Your body just needs to release something but you don't know what. 

I fear the numbness I feel because I know that it is the numbness that is in control, not me.