my changing body

I think it's fair to say that at some point in our lives we've all felt insecure about our weight or the way we look. For some of us it may only be for a few minutes at a time, those are the lucky ones. For others, their insecurities are with them often, but don't stop them from doing what they really want to. 

Then there is a third group of people. Those who feel constantly ashamed of their body for various reasons. 

I have belonged to the third group for most of my life. I have developed an eating disorder partially as a result of this, but also due to many other reasons. I am now recovering from this eating disorder and I'm learning a few things. 

I may be gaining weight and my measurements may be increasing but I'm starting to feel better about myself. There are of course some set backs in my recovery though. 

I know that I will never fully be over my eating disorder. The thoughts, feelings, wishes and desires will always remain with me, however I'm hoping that they will soon just be background thoughts. 

I am currently trying to get fitter. I have a healthy BMI so I'm no longer worried about my weight, but I do want to tone up. I want to become the best person that I can be, so I'm doing all that I can to get there. I'm eating healthily, and feeding myself when I am hungry rather than just ignoring it. I'm also exercising, I'm only running for now but I think this is a step in the right direction. 

Recovering from an eating disorder is not easy, but it will be worth it.